Why So Many Men Are Addicted to Internet Porn and Video Games

Fake Love…Fake War…This is an interesting read from Dr. Russell Moore.  Some of the information contained in this post is for mature audiences. Please be advised…

You know the guy I’m talking about. He spends hours into the night playing video games and surfing for pornography. He fears he’s a loser. And he has no idea just how much of a loser he is.  For some time now, studies have shown us that porn and gaming can become compulsive and addicting. What we too often don’t recognize, though, is why.

In a new book, The Demise of Guys: Why Boys Are Struggling and What We Can Do About It, psychologists Philip Zimbardo and Nikita Duncan say we may lose an entire generation of men to pornography and video gaming addictions. Their concern isn’t about morality, but instead about the nature of these addictions in reshaping the patten of desires necessary for community.

If you’re addicted to sugar or tequila or heroin you want more and more of that substance. But porn and video games both are built on novelty, on the quest for newer and different experiences. That’s why you rarely find a man addicted to a single pornographic image. He’s entrapped in an ever-expanding kaleidoscope.

There’s a key difference between porn and gaming. Pornography can’t be consumed in moderation because it is, by definition, immoral. A video game can be a harmless diversion along the lines of a low-stakes athletic competition. But the compulsive form of gaming shares a key element with porn: both are meant to simulate something, something for which men long.

Pornography promises orgasm without intimacy. Video warfare promises adrenaline without danger. The arousal that makes these so attractive is ultimately spiritual to the core.

Satan isn’t a creator but a plagiarist. His power is parasitic, latching on to good impulses and directing them toward his own purpose. God intends a man to feel the wildness of sexuality in the self-giving union with his wife. And a man is meant to, when necessary, fight for his family, his people, for the weak and vulnerable who are being oppressed.

The drive to the ecstasy of just love and to the valor of just war are gospel matters. The sexual union pictures the cosmic mystery of the union of Christ and his church. The call to fight is grounded in a God who protects his people, a Shepherd Christ who grabs his sheep from the jaws of the wolves.

When these drives are directed toward the illusion of ever-expanding novelty, they kill joy. The search for a mate is good, but blessedness isn’t in the parade of novelty before Adam. It is in finding the one who is fitted for him, and living with her in the mission of cultivating the next generation. When necessary, it is right to fight. But God’s warfare isn’t forever novel. It ends in a supper, and in a perpetual peace.

Moreover, these addictions foster the seemingly opposite vices of passivity and hyper-aggression.  The porn addict becomes a lecherous loser, with one-flesh union supplanted by masturbatory isolation. The video game addict becomes a pugilistic coward, with other-protecting courage supplanted by aggression with no chance of losing one’s life. In both cases, one seeks the sensation of being a real lover or a real fighter, but venting one’s reproductive or adrenal glands over pixilated images, not flesh and blood for which one is responsible.

Zimbardo and Duncan are right, this is a generation mired in fake love and fake war, and that is dangerous. A man who learns to be a lover through porn will simultaneously love everyone and no one. A man obsessed with violent gaming can learn to fight everyone and no one.

The answer to both addictions is to fight arousal with arousal. Set forth the gospel vision of a Christ who loves his bride and who fights to save her. And then let’s train our young men to follow Christ by learning to love a real woman, sometimes by fighting his own desires and the spirit beings who would eat him up. Let’s teach our men to make love, and to make war . . . for real.

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3 thoughts on “Why So Many Men Are Addicted to Internet Porn and Video Games

  1. Joe Seph says:

    Well i guess that makes me a loser then. Though my fascination to Hentai and Addiction to videogames is due in part to other factors besides being pre-desposed to loser status. It reminds me of the anti-smoking commercial from the 90’s where a teen age highschool student is playing his guitar hanging out with all these nice looking girls and all his friends playing his guitar. He says “want to know why I don’t smoke?…look around…I got no reason to smoke.” Of course he doesn’t need to smoke. Your God gave that punk a BLESSED life. And then there’s the issue of those that want to save us losers from the porn. Yopou know I’ve never read or seen much criticism for the Adult Entertainment Industry, Pornography Actors, or artist that dabble in such thing get the “you’re going to hell” rant. It’s always directed at the consumer because without the product or means to damnation there is no losers or evil inclined humans to be saved. It then becomes a political free speech issue doesn’t it. So thanks for pointing out that I’m a loser. You really got the obvious out of the way.

      • Joe Seph says:

        The article caught me at a bad time. Anyways there is reason to be concerned. Atleast on videogame addiction. I think a lot of people play games to get away from their reality for a while. It works sometimes…then the person realizes they are spending too much time in that game. Honestly I would agree with most articles concerning these addictions. The world is becoming a technological dystopia. I would really like to change my lifestyle if I had the means too. All I can really do is cut back on playing. At least these horror stories of that teenager in England that got a blood clot on his leg and the most recent Diablo 3 victim (though circumstances may be unrelated) are making me go outside and take in a breath of fresh air more often.

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